100 Changemakers for 100 days of BFRB Awareness
I’ve struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember. I’ve had symptoms of OCD and anxiety since I was a toddler, but it wasn’t until I was 21 years old that I started pulling out the hair from my scalp. I don’t know how it happened, but I was sitting on my bed, anxious, and suddenly, there was a pile of thick, curly brown hair in my lap. As I pulled, I played with each strand and follicle. The feeling was like something I never experienced before, a sense of relief washed over me. Then came an intense feeling of shame and embarrassment. I grabbed the pile and shoved it to the bottom of the garbage can, covering it up with tissues.
Weeks went on and the pulling didn’t stop. If anything, it continued to escalate. Months went by and I was pulling for several hours a day, and my scalp was covered in bald spots. I tried everything. I was exhausted.
Seven months after I pulled my first hair, I shaved my head. I couldn’t deal with the pulling any more and I needed a break. I felt free for the first time in months, like I was finally unchained from the hell that was trichotillomania.
I kept my head shaved for a while, but began to grow it out again several months later. Since then, I have cycled through phases of intense pulling and not pulling at all. Through Habit Reversal therapy, the cycles of pulling have gotten shorter and easier to manage. I am currently 26 days without pulling. I use competing alternative behaviors (lots of fidget toys) and stimulus control (bandanas, hats, hair in braids/ponytail) every day to help curb my urges to pull.
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As a person with severe mental illness, I wanted to give back and make an impact in the mental health community. In May 2020, I created a project called Letters from Lisa, where I mail free, handwritten letters of encouragement to people who are struggling worldwide. To date, I have mailed almost 1400 letters to people in 44 U.S. states and 49 countries. Since starting LFL, I now have a team of five writers who help me send letters to people across the world. Not only can individuals request letters for themselves or a loved one, but treatment programs are able to request letters for their patients. We have mailed hundreds of letters to McLean Hospital’s OCD and eating disorder units, Anxiety Institute’s OCD day program, and more.
Letters from Lisa was a way for me to turn my pain into purpose. I was able to take my mind off my anxieties and just let the art and words flow freely from my heart. Creating cards and writing the letters allowed me to do something with my hands, which in turn, kept them away from my hair. Additionally, knowing that my cards were helping people feel better, helped me feel better. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was making a difference. And that gave me hope.
Support BFRB Changemakers
BFRB Changemakers supports BFRB healing through community. Our mission is 3-fold:
- raise awareness of debilitating conditions of Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) such as compulsive hair pulling (trichtotillomania), nail biting (onychophagia), and skin picking (dermatillomania),
- increase and improve access to care, and
- advance community recovery.
Through the BFRB Changemakers Training Academy we strive to increase access to care by offering Continuing Education training to new and seasoned mental health treatment professionals.
BFRB Changemakers is a 501c3 non-profit (EIN #93-1544492). Please make a donation to support these efforts!
