100 Changemakers for 100 days of BFRB Awareness
I have trichotillomania and sometimes scratch my body.
It started when I was 10 years old.
I'm 24 now, so I've had it for 14 years now.
The days of living with Trichotillomania were quite hard for me.
Little by little I came to realize that hair loss, which was not a concern for me, was not the norm for my family and friends.
Many times I was told to my face that it was strange and disgusting, which was very difficult for me as an adolescent to bear.
I went to the hospital many times, but there was no improvement.
In the meantime, I was losing my hair very quickly, and I struggled to hide it when I was in elementary school.
By the time I was in middle school I stopped hiding it and lived my life like everyone else, but in high school the harassment started.
There were times when several students from other classes came to see me, just to catch a glimpse of my strange appearance.
I thought I was used to being laughed at, but I realized that was not the case at all and that I was desperately trying to make them think I was trying to protect myself.
These days piled up, and before long I began to have a hard time going to school, and I often missed classes.
My parents and family members sometimes blamed me and got angry at me, asking why I missed so much school, but at that time I was just struggling to protect myself.
Every day I wondered why I had to go through so much pain just because we looked different, even though we were the same person on the inside.
As my stress increased, my hair loss increased proportionally, and sometimes my pillow and carpet tops were blackened with hair.
Many times my fingertips would be covered in blood and stained red. Even in those days, I learned many important things.
Because I could not change the way I looked, I decided to take care of what was inside as much as possible.
I realized that it was my turn to give back to my friends who had been around and supported me.
One day, I saw someone on SNS who had the same Trichotillomania wearing a wig and enjoying every day. I was hesitant to wear a wig, but I decided to imitate them and my days changed drastically from there.
I began to enjoy every day and stopped worrying so much about what other people thought of me.
Above all, I became able to face myself in Trichotillomania.
That's when I found a community of people abroad who had the same Trichotillomania as me, connecting with each other and proving that I was not alone.
I still vividly remember feeling a tremendous sense of relief.
Now, through this experience, I would like to create a place in Japan for children in the same situation and for people who are going through hardships.
The after-effects of the harassment and bullying I suffered will never go away. I am still deeply, deeply scarred and in pain.
That is why I want to be an ally to those who are in the same situation and are now alone in their pain, so that I can heal their wounds as much as possible.
Japan is still not very tolerant of being different from others.
That is why I want to work to make life a little easier for the people of BFRB. Just as I was relieved to find TLC at that time.
I am truly grateful for all the friends I have around me.
Thank you so much.
Support BFRB Changemakers
BFRB Changemakers supports BFRB healing through community. Our mission is 3-fold:
- raise awareness of debilitating conditions of Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) such as compulsive hair pulling (trichtotillomania), nail biting (onychophagia), and skin picking (dermatillomania),
- increase and improve access to care, and
- advance community recovery.
Through the BFRB Changemakers Training Academy we strive to increase access to care by offering Continuing Education training to new and seasoned mental health treatment professionals.
BFRB Changemakers is a 501c3 non-profit (EIN #93-1544492). Please make a donation to support these efforts!
